Truck Porn

Pitiful

This week it's all about thee (as in the Shakespearean thee) truck. It's been pretty embarrassing to pretend that we're able to pull our 15,000 lb 5th wheel with our Honda. Daily, since we've been in the Crown Villa Park, it's been humiliating to watch these old farts drive by in their big diesel pick-ups. I could feel their sneers when they looked at our pitiful little Civic. Made me feel like the guy with the smallest penis in the public shower.

No more humiliation! Now when the Dodge Rams and Chevy Silverados, with their clanking, out dated wheezing diesels chug by our gleaming white and gold Ford F250 SUPER DUTY 400 HP Turbo Charged 6.8 Liter Diesel, Crew Cab, Short Box Lariat equipped monster they shudder and
look away in fear. The big dawg... the leader of
the pack has resumed his rightful place. Hooha!

Big Dawg

This paragon of modern technology is truly amazing. Leather bucket seats with hides that would make a Bentley envious. A computer system that answers your phone even when it's in your pocket... it's like your pants are talking. Not only that, with the touch of a button the truck plays the music stored on my phone... yup while in my pocket. Should I want to call someone I don't need to loosen my seat belt, raise up on one hip while trying to extract my cellular device from my jeans while swerving down the freeway... nope... I simply say CALL so and so and, viola, I'm connected. No groping, swerving, no seat belt violations.

Oh yes did I mention it also pulls up to 18,000 pounds without breaking a sweat? This new diesel, a joint development between Ford and Mercedes is whisper quiet.

By the way when we went shopping at the Ford store I told the salesman that the reason we were looking at a Ford was because it is the only American-made truck that's not built by Obama and his minions. His response was that almost half the buyers who walk through their doors say the same thing. Ford stock may be a good investment!

Living in an upscale RV park is interesting on many levels. Not only do you occasionally have a million and a half dollar Prevost coach for a neighbor, you may have a pop-up camper. For the most part, however, due to the price of spaces here, the neighbors are usually well off, retired Republican types. Boring but safe.

Last week a couple from California in their late 70's or early 80's pulled their nice 5th wheel unit into the space next to us. He was a bit hunched over and needed a walker to cover much distance. A couple of nights later we came home late. We had failed to leave the porch light on and as I was fumbling in the dark trying to unlock the door I heard Jill giggling behind me. "What's so funny," I asked... "Look," she said pointing at the neighbor's TV clearly visible through their large picture window... they were watching a XXX rated porn movie. I thought Jill was going to lose it. We crept into the house and peaked through the blinds to confirm what we'd seen. We concluded that he probably needs a walker because of Viagra. There is hope friends!